Movie Review of the Week: THE LOVELY BONES

***SPOILERSSSSSS!!!!***



Three years ago I read this book because I heard Peter Jackson would be producing and directing the film version. It took me about a week to read the book... I have to admit I was left with a weird taste after I was done. The author had my attention and sympathy for Susie and the rest of the Salmon family, up until the last few pages of the book when Susie finally gets the chance to come back and instead of warning her father that her murderer was trying to escape and was trying to dump the evidence in the sink hole she decides to have sex with her high school crush! I mean she could of simply just called her father and said "Run to the sink hole with the cops!" or if she didn't care about the dude getting away, "Dad, please move on... I am happy." Thats it! One line of dialogue! Shit, she could of written it on a post it and had the british kid deliver it to her house... ANYTHING!

I have to say that after watching the atrocity that was the film version of "The Time Travelers Wife", I was ready to watch this movie with a grain of salt, if you will. Peter Jackson amazed me as filmmaker, as a film watcher and as an all around geek with his Lord of The Ring Trilogy... I was never so mesmerized as I was with the visual magnitude that was the fellowship entering Lothlorien! It almost brought me to tears! Yes, I know the names... suck it!

Anyway... I must say that Mr. Jackson came through as expected visually. However, I feel that when a producer obtains the rights to a book or a story in general they have certain artistic liberties with which to better or in most cases (*cough* The Time Travelers Wife *cough*) trash a story. I wish team Jackson would have taken these liberties and used them for good... both my best friend and I are avid readers and we both agreed this was one of the few instances where the movie had the potential of being better then the book.

Choosing not to show the rape scene was a bold move on his part because it is such a big part of the story in the book... still I think he did a good job of mixing his biased reasons with an artistic way in which to make us feel her fear and pain. To me the movie seemed a bit too long and slow in certain parts. Some of the visual effects seemed to be compensating for the fact that the story wasn't that good. This reminded me of a quote I read recently "There is no point in having sharp images when you have fuzzy ideas". And I'm sorry, I am a Mark Walhberg fan for some reason unbeknownst to myself, but the man cannot act to save his life... what is it with all the whispering in all his films??? Rachel Weiz was so non-existent in this movie... and they should've alluded to the reason she leaves has also to do with the fact she had an affair with THE DETECTIVE!!! I think Stanley Tucci was the only one who captivated me with his performance, but thats just cause he is an all around good actor... so underrated! The only scene that got me excited was when he finds the other Salmon girl in the house.

THE best character in the book was the grandmother... which Susan Sarandon pulled off in my opinion... HOWEVER... her montage in the movie seems soooo forced. It was disappointing. In the book, she brought a bit of life back into that house and I think that they tried to portray it but came up a little short.

I'll give Peter Jackson a break on this one just because he had the good mind to produce District 9! I can't say I'm surprised I was this disappointed. I try not to read reviews about movies so that I can make up my own mind... but in this case I think the reviews are right... I give it 2.5 stars. (and thats cause 1.5 of those stars are for his visual effects.) I recommend you wait for it to play on Lifetime... OMG thats what it seemed like a big budget Lifetime movie!!!

SONG OF THE WEEK: Don't feel like dancing by Scissor Sisters

Tabula Rasa...

Yesterday we found out that my cousin (more like my sister) is going to have a girl! I was so excited… I can just imagine all the spoiling that will occur. My niece Mel is now almost 10 years old so getting to spoil a tiny little baby is so exciting. Don’t be alarmed by that impetuous and extremely loud tick-tock you hear, it’s just my biological clock trying to kick start. The reality is I’m just not ready for my own little offspring, but the thought of nurturing ones that I can return to their parents as soon as they start to poop, puke and cry is so sweet and adorable to me.

As I was walking the toy section at Target trying to find didactic toys for little baby girl’s big brother, Peter, I started to imagine what she would look like, will her personality be anything like her brother’s, will she look more like her dad than our family? Then an overwhelming thought crept into my head and it’s what my great-grandma used to tell me, that girls will always suffer more than boys. I was the only one of the new generation who got to spend the most time with my great-gran, by the way. She was a firecracker that one. She was always so loving and tender. I feel lucky to have gotten 5 whole years of her company. My cousins didn’t get to build memories with her and that’s a huge shame for them. Anyway, back to the overwhelming thought… I realized this baby girl gets to start off fresh and all I want to do is help her parents protect her… I realized… how hard bringing me up must have been for my mother. I was a tough kid to raise. I was challenging and hard headed and rude and temperamental. I never did anything the easy way. Never! I got kicked out of so many schools, made her spend so much money on tuitions, got into so much trouble because of my problems with authority.

Now, that’s not to say I was juvenile delinquent either… but I just wasn’t easy to live with. My mom and my brother put up with a lot! And I do mean A LOT of shit! So all this got me to thinking about what I would say to my younger self. The 11 year old girl who was starting to form into the 30 year old woman I am today and here is what I came up with:

Hey little Caro,

I know things seem kind of crazy right now; mom has been talking about leaving the States and moving back to Colombia. I know you cry at night because you will miss your school and your friends. You were so looking forward to moving into the new school to start your 6th grade adventure. Believe me kid, its not that important. In a couple of years you are going to find a school where you will feel like you belong. The experience will be unforgettable and you will be so grateful you got to live it outside the US. It will make you appreciate life better.

I know you are angry now and you have never been able to deal with that anger because Mom and Dad have always been kind of closed off. It doesn’t mean you have to be like them. Dad was wrong for distancing himself from you and his decision will take a toll on your love life as an adult… you will eventually start a path of forgiveness with him, but if you can… try to start it now. You have to be the bigger person and you will be doing this in many aspects of your life so just open yourself up to it now. He did what he knew how to do and it hurts, but in the long run you weren’t born to live by his side. He is a great man and does great things for the world… but he never got the love he deserved growing up, so try to understand him too. Once you get closer to him you will open yourself up to finding the right man in your life... your Prince Eric. *SIGH*

I know mom is pretty hard on you right now; she treats you like an adult even though all you want to be is a kid. In about five years she will realize all the mistakes she has made when it comes to being your mother… try to listen to her when she asks you for forgiveness… it will save you so much time in the whole journey of finding yourself. I know that when she says things you don’t want to listen because they come from her… but guess what, most of the time she is right!!! In the future she will be one of your best friends and you will treasure each moment you get to sit up with her and talk about your day.

Because of the way mom treats you, you will turn around and be very very hard on your little brother. It’s not his fault. He is just a little kid who looks up to you whether you believe it or not. Soon you will find that even though you are the bigger sister you feel protected when he is around… especially when you are scared and you don’t know why. Treat him well… he is probably one of the longest relationships you will have in your life. After mom is gone you will still have each other, so try to be nice. Please!

I know it seems like its you against the world sometimes, kiddo… but trust me when I tell you, you will find the people who will be your friends for life. You will meet a man who understands you the way no other human being can… you can be honest and real with him. He will help guide you through adulthood the way Mom tried to guide you through your childhood. He will become like family to you and you will cherish him. He will be your true friend! Not to mention that you will realize, that the people you need the most are the ones who are already in your life… the people who have grown up along with you. They will be your biggest support system. The ones who know you at your best, but most importantly at your worst… they love you not because of you attributes, but despite your flaws. Those are the people who will honor the loyalty you are always willing to give.

Others will come and go and you will learn from them, as well as teach them… but be very careful because there will be people who are going to try and break you. You are a very special girl, Caro. There aren’t many like you out there. I know mom and Grandma tell you this all the time... but it’s so true. You will find people who admire you and people who just want to see you fail. Do not let them take your light away from you. And when they get close enough to do so… don’t close your heart up all the way. That would only mean they have won. Don’t believe people when they tell you art is a waste of time. Do it! Do what makes you happy! Only you can hold yourself back. Keep sculpting, keep painting, keep dancing, keep dreaming… even Mom is wrong when she says you need to find a real vocation… that IS your real vocation!!!

Most importantly… just live! Open your heart to all that the world has to offer. Be willing to give all that love you have to others. Don’t let your heart forget how to love freely. You are not a selfish person so don’t let the actions of others make you believe that that is the right way to be… it goes against your nature and you know it! You are right to stand your ground when you decide not to do drugs or other things just to fit in… don’t ever second guess your decision… you are the one who is in the right.

Ok little Caro… let me wrap this up because I am sure you are dying to get back to watching Saved by the Bell… Mark Paul Gosselaar is still hot in the future by the way, so WooHoo!!! Keep being a kid… that is how we will always be despite the reasonability that comes with being an adult… you will always be a kid on the inside… that will be one of your best attributes and it’s how you will survive the craziness that is life!

Love,

Future Caro

P.S.: Try not to eat out of boredom… please!!!

Run Caro, Run!

Hello all,

As most of you know about a year ago I started a journey to change my life and one of my ultimate goals which goes beyond my weight loss was to finish a triathlon... well both those goals have proven to be harder to achieve then I thought. Along the way there has been an amazing amount of self discovery and emotional healing which has enabled me to keep fight my own small uphill battle.

In looking for a support as far as triathlon training I ran into an organization called Team In Training. They help athletes train for marathons, triathlons, century rides and hiking adventures all while raising funds for blood cancer research. Once I read what they were all about I felt at home! Fortunately for me no one in my family has suffered the pain of losing or dealing with cancer.

But about six months ago a dear old friend of mine sent me an email announcing that her three year old son Joaquin had been diagnosed with Leukemia. It was a sad day for all who have had the honor and pleasure of knowing Joaquin's parents (I went to high school with both of them). So it was then I decided that I will be taking part in Disneys Princess 1/2 Marathon in Orlando, Florida in March 2010. I figured it's a good way to honor my dear friends and to find my footing in the world of racing.

I know, I know, 13.1 miles sounds like a whole lot to take on, but it's for an important cause.



Now, Im not trying to get all Sally Struthers on you guys but look at that beautiful face! I will be thinking about him every time I want to just give up, sit down and have some one fetch me some lemonade.

I cannot even imagine the amount of strength it takes to battle cancer and still be a happy child all before even thinking about starting kindergarten.

The LLS's mission is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease and Myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. The bad news is that there is no known cure. Leukemia remains a leading cause of cancer-related death in children. Every four minutes, someone is newly diagnosed with a blood cancer, and 894,543 Americans are presently living with leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, or Myeloma. However, the good news is that in 1960, the five-year survival rate for children with the most common form of Leukemia was just 4% and today it is 85%.

Running a marathon is only my physical commitment to this cause. My principle goal is to raise $2,500 to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Listen guys, I know times are tough right now but I need your support!

If you can please make a donation to support my participation in Team in Training and help advance the Society's mission. Whatever you can will help and don't get intimidated but the amounts on the page if all you can donate is $3, $5, $10 its all welcomed with so much love and appreciation! It all adds up in the end.

I hope you'll visit my website(s) often. Be sure to check back frequently to see my progress. I will be posting little video updates to put my four years of film school to good use!

If you have already donated thank you once again... but can you please forward this to your friends? I need all the help I can get.

Thank you so much for your support!

Click here to donate:


http://pages.teamintraining.org/sfl/dipihalf10/CaroGonzalez

Caro

Taking the first in confidence!

'Keep your silicone I prefer my own...'

I first heard this song well over 7 years ago... I love that Adele joined India Arie in this performance. I am a huge Adele fan... so for those of you who didn't get to watch the DIVAS special on VH1 here it is... and for those who did see it... its well worth a second viewing. Check it out!

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I am the Oak Tree bursting out of the Acorn.

I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve written this blog in my mind... Every day as I drive to work, make copies, watch a movie or brush my teeth I think of a good way to admit my personal failure to the world. I end up taking the mental note in my minds hand, scrunching it up, throwing it into my mental recycle bin and then quickly clicking on 'EMPTY TRASH'. I’ve tried funny approaches, sad approaches or just any approach that would get people to empathize with me and say ‘it’s ok Caro… there is always next time’. But in reality… they were all just excuses.

For the past three months I have been completely and utterly off the wagon… I have been struggling for the past 5 to be honest. I haven’t been training for the past 2. I see the countdown clock on my desktop every morning and it only adds to my internal anguish. This competition is now a month away and I have to honestly say I am not even 0.001% ready. It’s true, I’m not where I was a year ago… but I’m not where I should be… where I hoped and planned to be by now. The truth is I can see what is happening… I see myself going back to my old tendencies. I know what needs to be done… the actions that need to be taken in order for me to achieve what I want to achieve. Yet, I can’t bring myself to doing it. I have so many people that believe in me. So much love and support! So why can’t I feed on that? Why can’t that be the fuel that ignites my fire… that calms my anxiety? Why can’t I figure this out? And while we are at it… why do fools fall in love?

A couple of months ago there was a boy… long story short there were new and unidentified feelings for me… things I didn’t know how to handle. It ended, I cried, my heart was semi broken. This situation was the catalyst for soooo many other emotional realizations… things I thought had been dealt with but obviously haven’t been. Then something happened. A door opened as that chapter in my life closed. A door to all these feelings and insecurities and emotions that had been shoved into seclusion ever since I was a kid, it was actually more like a hidden labyrinth now that I think about it. My best friend told me I was sad because I was mourning something that had been a part of me for so long. It makes so much sense. Still… now that I have stitched my heart up and am steadily navigating through these 15 foot labyrinth walls while taking on my hang ups with my shinny new Hantori Hanso sword … why am I still in this funk? Is this what those depression commercials with the ladies in those hideous gray sweats refer to? Should I go out and buy some grey sweats? No actually, I think I’ll stick to my Tinkerbell PJ’s thank you very much!

I keep thinking I need change in my life… but I know I have to be the one to instigate that change. I will not be competing in next months Tri…and I am sorry if I let my brother, my friends or my family down…. but it’s not something I am giving up on. This will happen. I will make it happen. I have faith in that. I just need to figure out where those fucking bootstraps are so I can yank on those motherfuckers!